The worse part is over

The worst part is over A saying I was familiar with but it never really applied to me 

Well at least that’s how I always thought 

I think it never applying to me has something to do with nothing I ever did feeling good enough 

When I change something or do something I don’t ever feel like that is commendable and I find myself set in some of my unhappy ways whether that’s getting anxiety I’ve nothing or worrying about something I can’t control. The worst part has never felt like it has truly been over.

I have had my many share of worst parts, a good example being 6th form I hated everything about it . It made me question how it was making me so unhappy and angry at the world and pushing me so far away from my chosen career path I forgot I even had one. So I chose to leave. The worst part was over , if only , if only I had the power the recognise my strength at this moment perhaps I would of felt relived on leaving but in actual reality .I felt nothing. 

Every Friday when I feel anxious about work and every single night I don’t ever get any sleep and the anxiety just builds and builds and builds until I don’t know what to do with my self , the worse part is over . Because the thing is with work its not actually working there I hate it’s the memories that haunt me over the things I did wrong that prevent me from wanting to turn up. That’s the worse part making myself go and convincing myself everything will be fine.

College can make me anxious , work can make me anxious but I have to start believing that the worse part is over and that things would be a lot worse if I didn’t have the energy , the hope or ethusiasmn that I know gets me up in the morning. 

Of course there is always room for improvement. But the people that others are envy of the most are those with a positive attitude that cannot be broken ( even if that is on surface level) 

I’ve learnt it absolutely kills people or at the least makes them stop hurting you if you smile and agree. That’s strength my friend and you have it , we all do. 

Strength gets us through the worse part 

Do you think any of us would still be here if the worse part wasn’t over?

Be proud of yourself , be proud of what you’ve accomplished 

Be proud that you are trying, because you’d be surprised on how many people are not.

Your ever hopeful seventeen year old xoxo


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