DISCLAIMER: I wrote this when I was in a very down mood , but I still think it’s relevant because there are people that feel like this all the time and I hope someone can read this and take comfort or think about their actions more carfully. Interupt it how you wish.
How long have I been surviving?
How long will continue to survive?
It doesn’t matter who turns the light off
I always manage to strive
Not that I’ve wanted to
Not that I even sometimes care
It’s just that the voice in the back of my head is always there
Saying no this
Or you’ll disappoint that
But what happens if I disappoint someone ?
What matters if for once I give my sadness up for happiness?
What happens then?
Do I just dive into a whole to never be seen again?
Run away from human existence
Does the whole world stop if I say no?
Do I burn to smithereens for the lack of caring?
Do I keep on surviving?
That’s the real question.
Surviving , yes
The living bit I’m not so sure on
Because even if I turn the light on
I have to have someone’s permissions first
The lights not mine to have unless someone says it’s okay
Otherwise my light is gone and I am haunted by nightmares
I am surrounded with fear
I am punished with loneliness
But there will come a time when that light feels nothing
That light will cease to exist
Or anger will burn
Confusion will set in and the light
That tiny little light will burst
And what will be left?
Blame on those who didn’t listen
Those who didn’t stop and think
Those who never chose kindness
Those who saw the light crying to have a new chandelier but never
I mean never thought it was there responsibility
My light is screaming help me
And no one can see it
My light is saying listen
My light is saying give me more electricity
I need more power it screams and cries
But the little light is out of power
There is only so much electricity that can run a broken light before it is completely damaged
And no one will even care when it’s gone
It did its job they will say
It did its best
And then they move on
Theses people just need to get through the day
Neve truly seeing
Never putting themselves In the lights shoes
God forbid we think
God forbid we feel
There was a day when that light shined
And it smiled and it laughed and it was happy
and it made other people happy too
But when all someone does is take and take and take
What becomes of the light?
The answer is ,it breaks.