Being alive 

I can’t decide living in a bubble on the weekdays is better or worse for me I can’t decide whether forcing myself to be smarter or stronger is better for me 

The truth is sometimes singing in the car to a good song makes me feel overdone , outworked , bored , hopeless. 

On weekends I feel like I’m trapped on page 7 on ‘oh the places you’ll go”

I feel like I’m still in that waiting place where as when I’m away from this town I feel like I’m going somewhere 

It’s where my friends are it’s where my life is. I was happy waiting around when I was 14 because I didn’t know any better 

Once you get a taste of happiness you’d rather not give it away

But still I wait on the weekends I’m waiting for the week days

But unfortunately unlike the dr suess book there’s nothing I can do about the weekend coming there’s nothing I can do about being greeted with the unkindness of the world , there’s nothing I can do about feeling nothing genuine about this waiting place or the people of my past even though I am constantly reminded of it by staying here 

I don’t want to torture myself in case I do actually have to stay here 

In case I do have to live in someone else’s world and not the world I’ve created for myself 

I think some days the only way I can get through is to romanticises this place

There’s no possible way I could find happiness right where I am 

Sorry moana , 

However at least there’s an upside to this. I live for the weekdays therefore I am living for a lot more of a percentage of my life

Which is a lot more I can say for others I know 

I should be thankful for my escape not feel guilty for having it 

So I’ll sit in the car , I won’t enjoy the songs and I’ll forget who I am for two days I’ll loose myself and on Monday I’ll be back again 


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