It’s nearly that time again.
it’s nearly may the first and nearly 24 days until I’m no longer 17.
What can I say about being 17?
Well something I learnt very early on is how this age is sexualised with girls , particularly in music.
When your seventeen I feel like your seen as so young which doesn’t make any sense to me because obviously I was younger all the years before. But maybe it’s because 17 is so close to 18 that it almost seems impossible to ignore that I will technically be an adult soon. 17 has been on of those ages where if anything I’ve learnt how see through people can be. My illusions of some people have also been shattered , the people that used to be a big part of my life are not anymore. And I can’t tell you how nice it is to let go of all of that. With every age there’s a new experience but with this age I finally feel like I have a life and I’m not living someone else’s , which I’m pretty sure will only make sense to me. For the most part I think I had a blast being 17 but there were times as this age where I had never felt so overlooked or insignificant. For some parts of this age I have felt a bit hard to not drown or to not give up. I wouldn’t say I’ve had a whole year of bad lack , I wouldn’t even say I’ve felt too sad but I think I’ve had to deal with myself and all the crap that comes with that , and I don’t think I’ve ever had to deal with myself in such a close proximity before. I think I just learnt that for the most part especially in these last few weeks that in life you will do most things alone and how that’s not a bad thing. No one was with me when I got lost , i’m the one who got myself home , I’m the one that gets the train every morning by herself , I’m learning songs by myself , I enjoy my interests by myself and I don’t need the reassurance from others for permission to like them. And what great about this is that it shows my independence. And how when I get older this will only get easier. I did most things alone when I was 17 but no doubt I will do even more things alone when I’m 18. I doubt things will change much is this month , if anything as I get older life only seems to get easier. I mean it kinda has to doesn’t it? Other wise we’d all want to live in the past. I can’t say I’ll miss you as much as I loved being 15 or 16 , 17. But I will certainly appreciate what you’ve taught me.
Your ever hopeful 17 year old xoxo
( I’m going to have to change that again aren’t I)