Painful Epiphanies

Painful epiphanies and hard to swallow truths

Thought you were my medicine

Then the medicine ran cold

They say as soon as the thoughts come

That you don’t think that you are sure

Then it’s time to move on

So I’ve got to let you go now

Before I waste my youth

Voices whispering “don’t wait”

My voice in my head said “no change”

My heart … wants to hold on

But god, what does she know?

I’ve been blinded in a black whole

Just following your light

Following it so much

I forgot I had mine

Mine.

what a foreign concept

Just two weeks ago I thought I had it

Then you went slipping right out of it

So I guess I had to take control

But let me tell you

Begging takes its tole

Took some excruciating moments to realise

Wishing and praying

won’t make you play that role

Why didn’t we talk about it?

Why didn’t we say?

Guess you don’t know what you want

Until reality

is in place

Trying to do the mental math

Trying to make it make sense

I think I gained a lover

But have seemed to lost my best friend

I used to think I was gifted an Angel

But can’t remember the last time we made sense

Where did you go?

I guess I’ll never know.

The guy that I’m falling for

Doesn’t even exist so

It’s a painful epiphany

Something I’m only starting to conceive

I don’t think you lied to me

I just didn’t love myself enough

to see